Golf means the end of 'the struggle'?

A Saturday morning spent nursing a hangover after a few drinks last night with my good Kosovar friend Arlind. Only 4 small bottles of Beck’s beer but I drink beer about twice a year and now I know why. My tongue, in a delightful phrase my father once told me, tasted like Tarzan’s loin cloth.

But tongue aside I occasionally enjoy days like today. I spent much of it by myself in a hotel room doing various thinks like reading, writing (mostly writing a course on ‘non-judgemental listening’ I have to run soon), listening to music and generally pottering and the time just flew by. I like to be with people but I do also like time to myself. Anyway, all rabbits have to come out of their of burrows for food and I eventually walked into Pristina for this reason (the air still acrid) and to watch the rugby match between England and Argentina in ‘The Phoenix Bar’. I didn’t talk to anyone – I am too self-conscious in bars by myself and there has to be a very good reason for me to go in a bar ‘tout seul’. Afterwards I bought some CD’s – Mazzy Star, Catpower, Orchestra Baobab, Art Pepper and Joni Mitchell. I got talking to the shop owner and we discussed the merits of saxophonist Pharoah Sanders for ages. The best concert I have ever seen. A very happy night – he played for hours and we would have had him play for hours more.

When I have days like this I always think of my eldest daughter Lily who is brilliant at losing herself in things for hours on end (a trait we share). She also has that priceless ability to make a huge number of friends in new surroundings, very quickly (a trait which I don’t share normally but I enjoyed my talk with the CD shop owner). I made myself happy today by thinking about her for a considerable amount of time. In ten days time I will be back in Pezenas, France with my babies.

I am so intolerant of mediocrity in my pleasures. Music for example. Why would anyone want to buy those ‘Great American Songbook’ compilations by Rod Stewart? Why? I found a Jeff Beck album today – called ‘Truth’. With Rod Stewart singing on it. So sad to see the decline of a once truly great soul singer (and I mean ‘soul’ singer) when he could sing like he does on this album. That was today’s gripe. What’s happened to Rod – ‘giving up’ it seems to me – is what happens to so many men when they approach middle age. Rod gave up in about 1975 (‘Sailing’). A sign that most men have given up is when they start playing golf. I bet Rod plays golf too. As I have just hit forty I suppose I should be seeking banality but actually I feel like my life is increasingly moving in the opposite direction. I don’t think this is really about being ‘young’ but more about not wanting to be ‘mediocre’ or part of the crowd.

CNN is working again.

Song of the Day: Morning Dew – Jeff Beck. Rod – What happened?